Showing posts with label manly things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manly things. Show all posts

Friday, July 9, 2010

Do Manly Things

Should you be in touch with your emotions? Yes. Just as long as those emotions are manly. I don't want you to ever look at GQ for fashion advice. I don't want you to look at paint samples unless you are trying to match the Cubs or Bears colors. I want you to be a man. A manly man. The list that follows are things that I think you should do, or find of interest.

Boobs- Let's start simple. Your original buffet becomes proof that god loves us.
Football- It's a rough sport with cheerleaders. A very manly combo indeed.
Rugby- Manly sport with an international flair.
Soccer- Just seeing if you are reading. Soccer is not manly.
BBQ- Smoke+Meat+hours killed with a beverage= Manly
Beer- Very Manly once it's legal for you.
Fashion- See Soccer
Frats- Not Manly, at all
Charcoal Grills- It's fire in a pure form
Travel-You can't make fun of peoples accents adequately until you hear them in person. Unless they are French.
French- The language, the people, the unconditional surrender... NOT MANLY
Fart Jokes- Manly Men love a good fart joke
Providing- A man takes care of their family
Baseball- Manly and an American tradition
MMA- So manly that only the unbalanced can succeed
Sales Jobs- It's like sports for those of us who can't be athletes
Friends- The only thing more important is family. Friends are like family with a screening process.
The Cubs- Harder to believe in than religion.
Bacon- Show me a man who doesn't love bacon and I will show you a man who has secret ovaries.
Home Improvement- A man takes care of their home, a real man does it themselves.
Steak- mmmmmmm...... steak..... so many types... so good
Fire- If we didn't have fire, we would be monkeys with less hair and better thumbs. Fire is good.
Power tools- I don't think that "He who dies with the most tools wins, " but I sure as hell believe that he who can't borrow those tools experiences hell sooner. Buy them when you can.
Being a husband- The manliest of all things. If you do that well the rest of life will fall into place. I did well. And finally....
Being a dad- I can't wait, and you still have 3 months to go.

Be manly, make me proud little embryonic dude.