You have to join us

You will have to join us eventually.
I know that it will be scary to leave the utero-winnebego that you have been calling home. The big advantages will be that the voices you have have heard over the last nine months will have a face. Well, unless you are crazy and then you are just hearing voices, but I don't think that will be the case. You are also going to have more room to stretch out and a lot better lighting.

The bad news is that you will find out that the angel mom voice has mated with an over excited balding guy. Guess what, you will soon realize that the bald guy contributed half the DNA. Actually you will have years of bliss before you figure that out. Enjoy it. Crushing realism will come soon enough... especially if you are a boy. If you are a girl you will just learn about concealed weapon permits sooner. I promise to do the best I can, but I have always been an underachiever, just talk to my former teachers.

Just know that I love you, and I plan on teaching you lots of valuable stuff.... Everything you need to know will follow...

Love the Cubs

It's not going to be easy. It's a path of failure, but if it ever works out it will be everything you put into it. But enough about me courting your mom.

Being a Cubs fan is a great thing. You will learn about faith, love, forgiveness, and redemption. I am hoping for the redemption part. You will learn about the failures on your own, we have a real flair for spectacular failure.

You will learn more by watching the process. If God wanted us to all worship success and indulgence we would be Yankees fans.
If God wanted us to complain about money and surround ourselves with garbage bags we would be Twins fans (ok, maybe the new stadium won't have garbage bag outfields)
If God wanted us to be drug dealers, hookers, or a democratic president we would be White Sox fans.

But if God wants us to be good God fearing Christians he would have us be Cubs fans. It takes faith, belief, and an undying commitment to something that hasn't happened in a really long time to buy into this dream. We are Cubs Fans.

The Vikings Suck

The Vikings Suck
Why am I teaching you about the Vikings so early? Easy, they suck. They wear alot of purple, UNI fans wear purple but we do it well. They have loud horns that announce when they do something good. Don't worry, it will not happen often. By the time you can read this Favre will have retired and Ziggy Wolf's name will sound just as stupid it does now. Their mascot is some old drunk looking guy running around in what appears to be a fur vest-typeathing.
The really sad news is that he is the best looking Vikings fan I have encountered. Vikings fans don't mean to be the armpit of existence, they just are. Don't hold it against them. It's like rooting against the early parts of evolution, we just hope they will end up well.

Be a Bears fan. Actually, you will have no choice. I plan on swaddeling you in a Bears blanket. And FYI, never get too excited about Bears QB.

Lesson One

I am not a writer, and I am not yet a father... If you are reading this you are a reading a non-writing non-father blog about raising a child. I will assume that we understand each other.