Keepin' up with the Jorgensen's

I find myself at a wierd crossroads in my life.  I have always considered myself to be someone who is unafraid to blaze his own trail, make it on their own, and do thier own thing.  So what have I done?  I have followed three generations of my family into business and now I am working on a hobby that at least two generations have done.  So what do I want for you?  I want you to do your own thing, and I hope it is one of the previous two.

I had the room next door to your uncle Gabe when he was learning guitar.  It was a terrible experience.  I know the Stevie Ray Vaughn song "Little Wing" by heart and I never even liked it.  I heard Gabe butcher every note, chord, and rythem until it was perfect.  According to my memory that took 17 years.  Gabe is a badass guitarist.  He can play with Jimi, Clapton, Stevie Ray, and all the greats.  He can listen to a song once or twice and within a couple tries play it back at least 90% right.  Why do I mention this?  I bought a guitar.

I went to Bob's Guitars about a month ago.  I called Gabe first to see what I needed.  He said, "Wait for me. I will come up next weekend!"  Not soon enough I said.  I had gotten your mom's approval and I wanted to move while the moment was at hand.  "I can be there in 2 hours!" Gabe implored.  Not soon enough I said.  I was in front of the store and couldn't wait that long.  So Gabe told me to look for a guitar with good action, a trust rod, solid tuning pegs, and other things I didn't understand.  I ventured into the store and told them I wanted a guitar around $300.  The long haired guitar guy said, "Cool man, let's check some out."  He had been in a skateboarding accident and broken his femur, so he hobbled along with a single crutch explaining body compostion, action, trust rods, and a bunch of things I didn't understand.  Then he set up a stool, not the pooping type, and  put up about 6 guitars into stands.  "Just jam man, see what feels good.  Hear how they sound.  Find the one that's good for you, man."

I sat down and grabbed the first one and started to jam... by that I mean I played the two chords I remember from when I was 14 and Gabe tried to teach me to play.   You can't tell much about a guitar with the G7 and the D major it turns out.  So long hair skateboard guy asked if I wanted to jam on them so I could get a feel for the sound.  I said, "Yes."

He jammed.  I looked at which ones looked cool.  I talked myself out of the $700 Martin guitar I wanted because I am afraid of your mom.  I bought a $300 Takamene guitar because Gabe said Garth Brooks played one.  I like Garth.  I told Ash I would spend about $300.  It looked cool.  It didn't sound "tinny" which Gabe said to make sure of.  Perfect.  I had a guitar. 

I told long hair skateboarding guy I needed a case and some picks.  He said, "For sure man."  I paid for it, and then I realized that you could sit on a guitar case and thought that maybe I should have gotten a stand instead.  I asked if I could exchange them.  Long haired skateboarding guy said "For sure, man."  He grabbed a stand, told me it was cheaper than the case, and said "Here you go, man".   I asked if we needed to do paperwork... and this was the moment that I knew I had just bought a guitar in a guitar shop.  He said with a chuckle, "It's close enough for Rock and Roll, right?"

Yes.  It is close enough for Rock and Roll.  I own a guitar.  I am now a musician.  I now will be able to blow your mind with music.  Except it isn't that easy.  We will get into that later, but for right now it's close enough for Rock and Roll, man.

Life Insurance Family

Parents bring work home with them, and it effects the conversation around the house. That is why Rex and Rob Ryan are coaches like their dad Buddy Ryan who was the defensive coordinator with the Chicago Bears. Bill Belicheck and the brothers Harbaugh are coaches kids too. I can't say that these dads meant for their kids to follow in the family trade of coaching, but they did. I don't know that these dads taught their kids on purpose, but kids learn things. They learn defensive schemes because dad thinks they are important and because osmosis is a bitch sometimes.

On a way less awesome level that is why I am from a life insurance family. My Grandpa Don brought it home and exposed my dad just like my dad in turn exposed your uncle Gabe and I. I don't think my dad ever intended for us to be in the business, and I know mom wasn't super excited about it, but yet here we are. You will not have the benefit of learning why Buddy Ryan dropped the strong safety into the box thereby creating the 4-6 defense that catapulted the '85 Bears into football immortality, or the intricacies of football wizardry that make Jim and John Harbaugh elite NFL head coaches.

So this is what you will get. People die. People that die after thinking about their family's well being without them die with a greater sense of peace, and you should be able to openly discuss life without a parent or spouse. What a bummer for you, huh? I knew what my parents wanted for me if they were gone before I knew what a free safety's responsibility on trips left ace formation was. The fact is I talk to people for a living now about what they want for there kids if they are gone, and I still don't know what the free safety should key on (although the rule of thumb would be that no one gets deeper than him.) I make a living talking to people about when they die (life insurance), when they wreck their car or their house burns down (auto and home insurance), or when they get cancer or break bones (health insurance). Wow my job felt more fun until I typed that out.

My Grandma J, who was one of the most important people in my life, passed away a few weeks ago. I was of course really shook up and shed my share of tears, but because we were a life insurance family I was never that sad. I was in the room when Grandma J took her final breaths. I was watching her in fact. I always knew I would be there when she passed. We were close like that. When I realized she was gone I was instantly ready for the next steps of moving on like getting her funeral plans from her nursing home room, and calling my brother. I instantly had a a flash back to Grandma J telling a very young little Beau, "Your body is just the vehicle for while you are here. When your body dies you get to go to heaven and see all the friends and family that you have been missing." So there I was just having seen Grandma J pass away in a mortal sense and within an hour feeling happy for her that she was with Grandpa Don now, and just a little sad for myself that I couldn't stop and see her next weekend.

Being from a life insurance family means you will have a little more perspective on the fragility of life, and life after you or without your mom and I. You will probably be exposed to conversations that would make most kids really weirded out and they might weird you out as well. Just know that at some moment they might bring you peace. They will not however make you feel any better when you see the strong safety bite on play action as the slot receiver runs a post pattern right behind him to cost the Bears the game.

*I am posting this a few months after it was originally posted.  At the time I wrote it I was trying to convey a sense of strength in dealing with the death of Gramma J, who is one of my heroes.  The life insurance family part is true.  The unique perspective of a family who talks about death is true, but there is one thing I missed. I think it is because I wasn't ready to admit it yet.  Death sucks.  I miss Gramma J every damn day.  I often think back to her holding you, Cruz, and the way she wouldn't say anything.  I think she was so overwhelmed with the happiness, pride, and joy that you brought that she didn't have the words.  Life is fragile and things mean more as you get older.  I thank God every day that she got meet you, and that I got to be a part of it.  I was lucky enough to see that.  I hope I live every day looking at you and your mom that way.  Overwhelmed with the joy of family.  Don't fear death.  Don't let the end cloud the moment, but always appreciate the moment at hand.  I miss that woman.  I miss my Gramma.  I want to call her at least once a week, but I never live in regret.  She knew how much I loved her, and I her as well.  Live that way.  It's worth it.

Be Cautious

Not every asset is advantageous, and not every skill is good to have. Not in every situation at lease. Some times what you have will make you desirable for the worst occasions, and what you know will make you desirable for the worst jobs. Learn or do the following at your own peril.

Own a truck: I used to own a 1997 Ford F-150. It was a pretty sweet ride. It was black with chrome wheels and running boards. It got about 14 miles to the gallon, but your mom and her roommates were impressed when I pulled up in it on our first date. Here's a fun side note. Your mom's roommate at the time was your Aunt Kelly whom I also had my first ever college class with. Just for fun you should ask her who had the better grade in that class (here's a hint: Me). So while owning a truck that has horrible gas mileage and a little bit of chrome might impress teenage girls from Butler County it also appeals to a much less desirable demographic. People that need to move.

Around that same time that I was meeting your mom I also had a lot of friends graduating. I of course had another semester because I had a really hard major... or something like that. Owning a truck makes you infinitely more attractive when others need to move. "Don't worry," they say, "there will be beer and pizza." The funny thing is I was almost done with college. Beer and pizza were two subjects I could have had a masters degree in by that point. If you own a truck people will make that offer even once you are gainfully employed and have cash. It's like they don't realize you know you can afford to buy your own beer and pizza! Even the good kind like Bud Light and Pizza Hut (which you will find out as you get older and make more money aren't that good.)

Now here's the real kicker to the deal. I fully expect you to help them. I expect you to help carry that TV and dresser, the couch from the basement, and even the washer and dryer from the room furthest from the door and around 3 flights of stairs. Why? Because that is the person you should be. Always ready to help.

That or sell the damned truck and buy something with reasonable gas mileage. Actually, don't do that. I might need to borrow it to go pick some stuff up at Lowes. I like you having a truck now that I think of it. That will be handy for me.


Roofing skills: Houses need re-roofed every fifteen years assuming you use a 30 year shingle. Why do they call it a 30 year shingle then? Because roofing companies are sadistic bastards that like hurting peoples feelings, that's why. So why should you not know how to roof a house? Because it involves standing on a black mat in direct sunlight on the hottest days of summer while standing on a slope at least 12 feet in the air. If you have your mother's grace you will fall off the roof. If you have your dad's late arriving sense you will realize that you went to college so you didn't have to do this kind of work, but only after getting half the shingles torn off and now coming to grips with what an awful job this is going to be. Then you will want to fall off the roof just to be out of it. (Not allowed. If you agree to start you agree to finish. The end. No buts here.)


Good with computers: A person who is good with computers is always in demand. There is always a virus that the user "just can't understand where it came from," a router that "Swear was working," or a report that "has to be somewhere. You've just got to save me."

I have five friends that have been smart enough with computers to be dumb enough to fall into this trap. There are three Chris's, Matt, and McClean. Oh, and a Todd. I can't forget Todd. Guess which one of them I have begged to help me out and offered to pay them with beer? All of them. Every damn one of them and I have outsourced 3 of them to your mom for her computer problems so she would stop looking at me like I could figure it out.

You might be noticing that I think the common payment for these things is beer and or food. That is because if we were going to pay with cash for these favors we know we:
A- Couldn't afford it
B- Wouldn't be willing to pay it
C-It will give us a chance to see our friends
D- A and B, but really mostly B

The answer is D. Asking friends to do thankless jobs for below market prices seems insulting so we substitute beer and pizza and pray no one questions the conversion rate.

Be careful what you know. People are paying attention, and they have a little favor to ask.

I Want You to Be....

I look at you as this little kid with his hair too long, his face too goofy, and his heart so soft and think of the man I want you to become. Yes, I know it's a little early, but I am your dad so I think this is my job. You are my first and only kid so far so I am kind of learning on the job.

I want you to be fun. Right now you are the most fun little dude I know. I love watching you play with your toys and figure out how things work. I watch you learn what sounds toys are supposed to make and crash trucks and cars. This makes me so happy even though I know that some day I am going to have to add you to my auto insurance policy at which time crashing cars and trucks will not be near as humerous.

I want you find a good woman. Your mom has made me a better man. So far you seem to have your eyes set on a little blonde named Harper at your day care. I dropped you off at the same time as Harper and her mom the other day and her mom told me that she starts saying "Cruz! Cruz!" as soon as they pull in the parking lot. (By the way, the fact that Harper's mom is known as "Harper's mom" and I am probably known as "Cruz's dad" at day care is kind of endearing.) The day care girls have also let us know that you two play all day together and even wake each other up from naps once one of you wake up. I think that is awesome, and congrats because she is a cute little girl. You have an eye for these things. I do encourage you to branch out over these next twenty or so years, but I like where this is going.

I want you to believe in something. I don't know what that is yet, but your life will be more fulfilling with a purpose. If it ends up being something like "Occupy Wall Street" I will kick your ass out of the family. Find a purpose worth believing in.

I want you to go for it, if you want to. I wanted to be a stand up comedian growing up. I ended up being an insurance agent. It's ok to go with a safer option like I did especially because I never really had the balls or desire to go for it. If you do, then you will go with my blessing and support whether it is MIT, Broadway, The Cubs, or Second City. Of course the financial support will differ on the selection. Just a hint... MIT will get more money than Mime School.

You are growing up so fast and it is a pleasure every day to see it in progress. I love ya kid, and I can't wait to see where you are going to go.

Get Rid of Your Inner Eyore

I sat here tonight trying to figure out how to get back into blogging. I sat thinking "Why is it, that at this point in my life, the happiest time in my life, I can't think of anything to say?" I had a little moment with God praying and I realized what it was. Even though my business is doing great, I love my wife, my kid is about the most awesome little snot factory known to man, I was focusing on what else there was. How do I grow my business faster? When can I find time for working out and other things I want to do? Bla bla bla....

I need to release my inner Eyore. I need to stop looking at the small things that I don't have going and the things that I want and focus on the good. This thought crossed my mind and I instantly went from being bummed to being ready to get after it again.

So remember when you are down to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Start focusing on the good things, and don't be surprised when everything is going your way and you start feeling down. That is normal. Occasionally you just need to ask God to remind you to stop focusing on the shortcomings and remember the good. It's time to get it. Go out there and do something awesome today, or go out there and remember that having the heat on in the winter is pretty awesome too.