A Lifetime of Regret

Well... about this. I typed "Lifetime of Regret" into google search and this is what it brought up. I had a whole thing about living for the moment all qued and ready to go, and then I saw this. So now I am thinking I will just clue you in on a couple of simple lessons.

Tattoos- They are permenant, and the only way to remove them is a lazer. This is not a magic lazer that removes everything like a magic erase board, but rather a lazer that just burns shit off and leaves a scar. It's great for removing a name, but not so much from your skeleton mask tat.
Rules of thumb on tatoos.
1.Don't get them unless you will love it when your are sixty and your skin is wrinkly and flabby. Get a naked girl tatoo and in 30 years she will be flabby and and stretched out too.
2. Don't get a name of a living person on your body. If you want to get a sibling's name that dies young, ok. I have a friend with that tat and it is cool. Don't get a girlfriends name... they come and go, but the ink stays. Then you are trying to get Melissa to look like Mississippi just so you can say it's after your favorite river.
3. Leave it in your will. Have someone tat you up once you are dead. It won't matter then. You can have every girlfriend and every river at that point. Wow, that sounds morbid, but I will have one hell of a will reading.

I would argue that the best tattoo is the one that you don't get. When I was living in Australia I thought about getting a tat of the outline of the country filled in with the Australian flag. I can't imagine explaining that one now. Alot of guys from my generation did the barb wire or tribal design on the bicep. Keep in mind that working out is not a lifelong hobby for most people. Some day your killer barb wire tat will look like wilted daiseys. Also, never get the "Chinese symbol for" tat. They might not understand a forign language, or even worse they might and not like you. That "Strength" tattoo might mean "clown porn."

Branding_- I have a friend, who I will not name, that decided to brand the letter "S" into his arm. (Rhymes with Bott Brother) The unfortunate thing is that the hanger they were using got hot and bent. So he ended up with a brand that looked more like a "5" than an "S". They nicknamed him Daddy 5. That scar is not going away.

Piercings- Peircing holes will grow shut eventually. The pictures taken with them will not. Don't get your ears pierced. (If my next kid is a girl, go ahead.) Don't get anything else peirced. That is regretable. My Dad always threatened to pierce my wiener with a rusty nail if I got my ears peirced. I did. He followed through.




Just kidding. I took it out before I got home. I am not crazy, I was just stupid for a moment.