Dancing

There is a country song that says,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

It's a LeAnn Womack song. It's pretty, and it has a really nice message. She's an attractive young lady who made crazy money off that song. The moral of the story?

DON'T LISTEN TO HER! For the love of God please know that she is not talking to you! Yes, I hope you dance while you are young. It's cute. We will all laugh and tell you that you look great. By the time you are 14 and thereafter however, please know that you look stupid. How do I know that when you aren't even born yet? Well son, you have half my DNA. Even if your mom was a dancer for Britney Spears back when Britney was still hot, my DNA would crush your chances of being a good dancer a thousand times over. My dancing DNA is strong like Vikings fans are idiots. It's a fact of life and an act of nature which no one can change.

It's not your fault, it's not even all my fault. Look at the history of dance if you must. The last time that white people were good at dancing was during the 50's. Why is that? There were rules to dancing then. There was a preordained set of moves to follow. I learned a few of those dances in high school (yes, I was in a musical... Ummm.. yeah it was Grease. Don't judge me.) and I could do those. I even performed reasonably well at them.

It's when left to our own beat and discretion that we get into trouble. Will you listen to this advice? No. There will be young women that will want you to dance, and no fatherly advice will overwhelm certain instincts. Will you end up looking like and epileptic with bad joints as a result? Certainly you will. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

So when you get a choice, to sit it out or dance... RUN! If you can't run, do the Robot and hope people think it's funny. It's your only hope.