You will be tempted to tell secrets to pretty girls, your mom, your friends and others. The best person to tell them to is me. The main reason is that if you have a secret you have to know the other person is trustworthy. If you can't trust your dad, who can you trust (no one). Sure, if you tell a girl a secret she will probably be more inclined to like you, but she will also be more likely to use it against you to make you carry heavy objects. I can carry way more than you so you need not fear that kind of manipulation.
People often refer to keeping things on the down low. If you trust your friends with that task they will keep things at eye level. Down low is their only option. I have the ability to keep things on the down low, medium, and the the up high. Your friends will not be able to offer that kind of versatility for years. When your mom needs help getting things from upper shelves, who does she turn to? Me. So I am the obvious choice for all your hard to keep secrets.
OK, your mom is good with secrets too, but you have to run them by me as well. I am like *Aerosmith "and I don't want to miss a thing."
*No more Aerosmith references
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