Bring the Cat In

Jade is our cat. She would love to be a great explorer homicidal pysco jungle kitty. Instead she is a pudgy little fur ball that meows out the window. Tonight while I was sitting on the deck I let her outside to play in the yard a bit after supper. She loves it out there. She eats grass, walks over six inches at a time, and even looks at birds like she might do something. Tonight I did a bad thing. Tonight I left Jade outside.

Your mother had gone to bed as pregnant women do, and I stayed up on the deck enjoying the nice weather and talked to our neighbors as I do. It was a nice night, a peaceful night, the kind of summer night that I live for. Then came the blur.

Around the corner they raced tightly trailing each other. Bounding up the stairs the first cat, a pure bred farm cat took her stand, tail full, ears perked, and the hair on her back a ridge of terror. She mightily hissed and even swatted at her assailant. The second cat, a Siamese ninja, lunged forward and retreated like a trained fighter. They stood off with moans howling and hisses shrieking through the night air.

I watched all this thinking, "What the hell are these cats fighting on my deck for? Why aren't they running when I stand up? Why does that cat look so much like Jade? Oh no!"

Jade held her own... this time. I wonder what would have happened if I had gone to bed with your mom. I wonder where in the hell she was all that time. I wonder how I forgot all about her.

So in summary, if you let the cat out you have to bring the cat in. I swear I did, but there is substantial evidence to the contrary. By the way, I am 50% in charge of your well being. I am scared too.