The Crib

By now you may have realized that I have spent a bit of time working on a crib for my son. What is to follow is a very long, and potentially boring post about the actual construction of it. But what the hell, this is my damn blog and I will do what I want. I mean really, I have 2 followers and one of them is bound by vows before God to love me.

This has been a true labor of love. There have been countless hours spent around the kitchen table "designing" with my wife, countless hours at the shop with my dad building it, a much appreciated cameo and work day by my brother Gabe, and unaccounted hours by my dad figuring out how the hell to make Ash and I's cluster of an idea into a reality. At this time I have to say, THANK YOU DAD!

The main aspect of my design was Ash and I looking at other pictures, and going to look at cribs, and then saying, "Dad, I like this part of this, this part of this, oh.. and about this big." From there we left it to dad and his amazing ability to take a few scrambled thoughts and make it into a plan. If you haven't seen his website yet check out www.classiccustomwood.com. The man is amazing and his ability to figure this stuff out is unreal. He keeps telling me that I have built this crib, but trust me when I say that it would have been a box with some slats and a lot of screws without him. Thanks again, and again, and again.

I told Ash to pick a color for the stain on the wood, actually the dye, because dad is a woodworking ninja and doesn't use stain. When I dropped this box in front of Ash and Grandma Kelly I think their heads almost exploded. There are roughly 80 choices, and I gave them about 1 week. Then I laughed a diabolical laugh. Ash came through though. She is getting used to me and my time lines. (This was actually when I made the dresser and the changing table a few weeks ago, but everything has to match so the dye used for them will be used for the crib. I will post pics of the other projects later.)

So, to start, here are the plans I gave dad. Really, a cut out pic, a few scribbles, and a couple notes. Not only did I expect him to make it all work, but also to deal with me as I explained it. I really wish I had a picture of Gabe, Dad, and I standing around trying to figure out the best way to put it together. It would be priceless.

Funny Story: Gabe, Dad, and I were trying to figure out how to do the adjustable shelves. We considered using shelf pegs. At this point, Gabe and I have no kids and Dad's youngest is 29. We are trying to figure out how much weight this will have to hold. I can't remember who said it, "Well, the kid won't be more than 100 pounds right? Well, maybe 50 at the most? It has to be pretty strong to hold that much weight. " Turns out kids are out of the crib around 30 pounds. 100 pounds is like 7th, 8th, or maybe 9th grade.... even later if it's a girl getting her first license. .. woops. We figured it out after about 7 different ideas. We will get to that later. Trust me though, it will be able to hold the full 100. Our ongoing joke is that if there is a tornado we will hide under the crib. It's going to be stout.

It took a couple hours to figure out how to make it adjustable, and how to make the sides all connect without showing how. Correction, a couple hours, a ton of debate, a few more scribbles, and a few Natty Lights for dad and I. I think Gabe lost a few hairs in the process (that's because Gabe is going bald and I am only kinda going bald... so far).

Next we took a stack of lumber and started turning it into pieces. First we planed it all down using dad's machine, then sanded using the drum sander, chopped it down using a chop saw, and ripped it to width using the table saw. Pictures? Sure.

Dad's machine planing:
This machine is basically a really big router hooked up to a computer that tells it what to do. In this case you just lay boards down and it goes back and forth making everything the same thickness. This takes some time, and it is boring as hell.

Then we sand the boards using the drum sander.
Note the use of the stands in front, there is also one in back. That is because it's hard to hold a 10 foot board even as it goes through, and if you don't you get awful sanding marks and it kills the machine. You think this post is boring? Run 200 board feet through and then talk to me. The good news is that this saves a lot of hand sanding later.

Here's me hand sanding with a DeWalt Random Orbital Sander.
This tool is my best friend and worst enemy. It is a great tool, and it is way better than actual hand sanding, but it sucks so bad. I should post this pic at least 14 more times to give you an idea of how much time we spend together.

Then we chop it to length using the chop saw, for those scoring at home it is actually a compound miter saw. This is a simple tool that costs alot and is awesome. Just a great piece of machinery. (DeWalt Company: Call me! I will make you a regular feature, and I get like 4 visitors a day! That should help you sell.... never mind that. Just sponsor me. It will be all worth while.)
You can see the hood built around it here. Dad has everything in the shop hooked up to the most bad ass dust collection system known to man. There is no way to get a good pic of it, but trust me. When used correctly you can work all day and not have hardly any sawdust on the ground. Also, it provides the shortest measure of time in the world. The time between when you start cutting and dad either hits the dust collection system or screams "SUCKER!" The denim dude takes his dust collection seriously.

Then we go to the table saw to rip boards to width. There is not a tool in the shop that scares me more than the table saw. I have never yelled at my mother in my adult life, but I came damn close the day that she goosed me while I was running a board through the table saw. Why? I am the only Jorgensen man with all ten fingers. Both Gabe and Dad have cut off part of a finger with a table saw or come close. Gabe did, and we had a terrifying drive to the hospital to follow. I drove 90 MPH to the hospital in a Ford Taurus while Mom screamed from the house, "Just wait, I gotta pee!" Mom has priorities. Mom got left behind that day. Mom will also probably cut off my Christmas gifts after reading this. Sorry Mom. If was funny, at least once Gabe was OK it and the blood was cleaned up it was funny. Anyways, here's the table saw. Respect the table saw. It will cut your damn finger off.

Next up we cut the mortis's... mortisi... mortisses... I don't know. We did this on the machine. Dad programmed it so everything would be perfectly even. These will hold the slats in place so when the kid is yanking on them they won't go anywhere.

So the slats fit in between two of those glued together (pictured below). Everything fit together perfect with a bit of sanding. Always sanding.... oh my Lord, always sanding. You have no idea how cool that is to be able to be that precise. It's all because a few Jorgensen men got together in a mind meld. Then Dad programmed the machine to make it so.

Featured here are several types of clamps including C clamps, Quick Grip Clamps and Jorgensen clamps. Those are the good looking ones on the end. Seriously, they are called Jorgensen clamps. This is an example of how things of all colors, sizes, and shapes can work together for a common good. Some are more useful than others and some are more effective than others. They all have a purpose. It's late, but at one point I was going to make a correlation to race relations and what an asshole Jessie Jackson is. But I am tired now. I swear I had a good point. Fill it in here ________________ and think about how insightful I am. Make sure that insight includes Jesse Jackson being an asshole.


Here's a pretty picture of dad running stuff through a table saw. It's a side rail after being glued up getting ready for another set of machining.
Now the side rails. I can't tell you how cool these are yet. You will see, but here is a cut out in process. (working on that, turns out that shooting in HD is great, right up until you have to load it to youtube to link to your dumbass blog and then have to wait about 2 hours to get a video that is 6 minutes and wish was only 1 but are too lazy to figure out how to cut the video.*)

A note on the side rails, and the love of a father. After Ashley and I had looked at a lot of cribs, somewhere between 5 and eleventy billion, it was decided it must have "swoopy side rails." I told Ash that we could do it. Then I called dad. He said, "sure we can do that." The man is a glutton for punishment because he has to program the machine to do it. A man with no training has to figure out how to make a machine do this using video game software, then convert that code to a CAD software, and then convert it to a code that a machine can read using Thermwood's software. Have a headache yet? I do. My part is easy. I say, "Yeah babe, we can do that." Then I call dad and let him work. He had to have had at least 10 hours of programming in the side rails alone. Why did he do it? Because he is Ray F'n Jorgensen and you are damn right he can, and will for his daughter-in-law. He's the man. He also builds custom kitchens. www.classiccustomwood.com

Here is dad sanding on the side rail cap. He offered and I looked busy because I didn't want to do it.

Here are the two pieces of the final rail ready to be glued together. It should look really cool when it's done.
That concludes this first part of the mega post. If you are still reading at this point I thank you. I wonder what the hell is wrong with you to still be here, but I do thank you. Stay tuned for the next post.

I am trying to make a "legacy piece" that can be handed down from myself and my father to my kid, and to his kid, and his kid. I couldn't do it without my dad. I am so happy to have the chance to do this with him. The hours together have been priceless (that's code for Dad: I can't pay you). I can't help but think about the next generation as we work on it, and even what my Grandpas would think if they were still here. Stay tuned for the next post... or two. It all depends on how next weekend goes. We are already at 5 weekends, so what's a couple more.

*DAMN YOU YOUTUBE just got notice that the download failed and it's late. I will work on that another time, but it's a cool video of the side rails being cut out. The machine is all up and down and swoopy and cool. I bet you are dying with anticipation.*