Father's Day

Today is Father's Day, and some day we will spend these days out doing fun stuff. Today I am celebrating Father's Day by drywalling. I know, I really shouldn't be so good to myself. The good news is that I am already getting gifts even though I am not officially a dad yet. Your mom got me a little Cubs bat, a BBQ book, and book to read to you. It's a good deal over all. BTW, I am waiting for a coat of drywall mud to dry. That means I have to stop long enough to have a Sam Adams Boston Lager while I listen to the Cubs on the radio. Like I said, you have to sneak some happiness into every project.

Since it's Father's Day I figure I had best tell you a couple things about how to be a good dad. Since I don't have any experience I will draw from my dad, your Grandpa Ray.

If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing right. Some lessons learned from a dad don't come with a warm and happy story. When I was in middle school I decided to carve my name into a desk during science class. Actually, I carved it during several classes. Man, did I dig that in. Correction, I carved them in, I just remembered I had one in my social studies desk too. So one day as the custodians were doing their job they found my handiwork and decided it was time for me to make things right. Their first thought was to make me replace the desks, but they knew that would just mean my parents would have to pay for them. They decided to do one better and call my dad directly. Dad asked if I could have the opportunity to stay after school and sand my name out. They agreed that might be a good chance for me to learn a lesson. That night dad told me what I would be doing. I knew I had done wrong so I accepted the punishment and went to get dad's sanders. He looked at me like I had lost my damn mind. Then he took the sanders out of my hand, and gave me a handful of sandpaper. This was a pivotal point in my life. This was the point I learned that sanding sucks, and public humiliation is a powerful agent of change. If there is one thing worse than sanding, it's hand sanding. For the next couple of days after school I stayed after and sanded for what seemed like hours. Once I was done and I had apologized to the teachers I got ready to leave. Then my dad showed up. He inspected my work and then dropped a dreaded line on me, "Beau, if a job's worth doing, it's worth doing right. This isn't right yet." I objected, he stared, I started sanding again. When my dad stares... things happen. It's terrifying. Dad wasn't satisfied that my name wasn't there anymore, he wanted everything feathered out and smooth. He also wanted the entire seat smooth, not just the area I had marked up. When I finally got the finished project he wanted he made me walk home where we would have a long talk. He said, "That was really stupid, don't do it again." Grandpa Ray is a man of few words some times, but man does he know how to get his point across.

Teaching and Doing are two different things.-
When your mom and I bought our first house I called my my dad to ask how much he thought redoing my kitchen would cost. I told him I figured I would just buy some cabinets from Lowes and wanted to get his opinion. He saw right through my lie and offered to help me build them at his shop. I knew he would offer but I didn't want to seem too demanding. Dad's are cool like that. When Grandpa Ray tells you he can use his shop and he will help you, he is telling you the truth. He made me and your mom do the majority of the work, but he guided us and he and Grandma Mary helped. I learned alot, built some beautiful cabinets, and most importantly got to spend a ton of quality time with my parents. He also ended up training me how to do things his way which worked out well for him since I now go down and help him with his projects. Trust me, I got the good end of the deal no matter how many trips to Hampton I make to help him out.

Doing a job the right way is about more than sanding, unfortunately it seems to be a big part of my hobbies. Doing things halfassed will get many things in life done, but it will never be enough. It will never be the right way. The lesson he was teaching me wasn't about sanding, or correcting your wrongs, but rather about how to approach life. I have witnessed my father doing things the right way in everything from the way that he raised his kids, the way he loves his wife, and even seen him walk away from a high paying job because he didn't feel he could do it the right way anymore. I questioned him many times along the way, but I never doubted that he was making decisions based upon the way he saw was right. He's a good man, a great father, and someone I want you to watch closely as you grow up. You can learn a lot from him.

I love ya dad, thanks for pissing me off all those times when I wanted to take the easy way out and for busting me when I had done wrong. Thank you for teaching me how to fish, build stuff, and how to fix up a home. Most of all, thanks for being my dad. And by the way, I forgot to send the card again.