I was recently a pallbearer in one of my best friend's funeral.   It was a great honor, but one I wish I never had.   I wish I could replace that honor with another night of trading insults and discussing the Cubs.   Remember to hold your family close, never lose touch with a great friend, and always tell those close to you that you love them.  

As we carried him to his final resting place, I kept hoping against hope that it was an elaborate joke (if you knew the guy you would understand.)   I don't know how many times I have wanted to dial his number to get one last conversation in .   Life is short, friendships are precious, and a strong belief is priceless.   It doesn't stop the hurt, but it provides hope and some peace.  

I miss him so much.

The Good Samaritan

I read the illustrated Bible with you, Cruz, most nights.  Last night we read teh story of the Good Samaritan.  I am not a biblical scholar, but basically it's a story of a man who is found injured in the road.   Jesus asks his followers who acts as the mans neighbor in the context of "Love thy Neighbor".

*for the record, if you got a score of 1-10 on being a Christian, I would be a 5.5 and trying to improve, but I am trying to give my kids a head start on being better than me.  In no way am I trying to preach here, but I guess I do try to preach to my kids assuming that I know more than they do for the moment, even though they can understand 100 times more than I can. My 5.5 assumes that half the world doesn't know Jesus at all, therefore giving me .5 better than average.  That alone probably proves the point that I don't know enough to be worthy.

I read to you about the preacher passing the man, then the healer passing the man, and finally the random dude who is not deamed worthy coming upon the man and giving him help.  He takes him to the inn, shelters and bathes him, and pays the innkeeper to keep him safe.

Then out of nowhere, you  tell me that if you ever found your friend Liam in the dirt you would, "walk to my house and get a bicycle... but I don't know how to ride one so I would walk all the way to the farm and get a horse Then I would take the horse to Liam and help him get on it and take him to the hospital and God would see it and be happy."

Wow, what an amazing understanding for a little kid.  Bonus cute points for realizing that you don't know how to ride a bicycle, and for converting to a horse (by the way, you aren't really familiar with horses either, but I like the effort.)

Then we prayed about being good people and helping others.  Then you cried.  It was an amazing thing because you cried because you realized you were not a good boy at school, and didn't help others.  You promised to apologize to Ms. Dana the next day and do better.

You didn't do better the next day, but I still appreciate the thought.  It's amazing the way you grasped the story, applied it, and at least intended to be better because of it.  You are only 4 so I don't expect too much, but I am so proud of the little man you are threatening to be.  What a dude.

You are a leader.

It just about crushed me the other day when i found out that Cruz had been in trouble for talking too much during class, distracting others, and leading other kids into doing the same. Not becuse I thought it was a terrible thing, but because I knew where the blame was going.  I never had a teacher-parent interaction that didn't include that.  I never had a report card that didn't indicate that.  Worst of all, your mother never had that on her report card.

Dad is to blame.  I like attention. In fact, I love it.  I lovc being at the center of the story, the attagonist, and the star.  Life is boring when you are entertaining yourself.  I will warn you now that if you don't learn to control it, it will be a part of your life forever.  I am 33 now, and every time we get around a group of people your mother accuses me of it.  So here are my thoughts.

1. Learn to control it- You don't need to be the star of every show.  People grow tired of it, and can resent it.
2. Respect your teachers-  They need you to not be an asshole, becuase if you are, then everyone will be. Some of your teachers will be great people that just want a little help, or at least not a hinderence.  Take your current teacher, Ms. Dana, for example.  She is in charge of 20 4 years olds.  When you are a punk, it means others will follow you making her job harder.  She is a great young lady.  I wish her the best, and by that I mean not having to deal with 20 4 year olds.  She does it with grace, but man, that has to be awful.
3. To thine self be true-  I think that is Shakespeare... but your mom is the English teacher.  Look, I want to tell you that you need to tone it down, fall in line, and get with the program.  My problem is that I never did.  I still don't.  I don't feel bad about it at all.  I like to be at the center of the story, and I like to have eyes on me.  It's just about the best feeling in the world to me to have a crowd in the palm of my hand.  It's part of what makes me succesful and it's part of what I love about being me.
*side note- people hate phrase like "what I love about being me".  I think that is because they have never let themselves be happy with who they are.  I like me.  I think I am pretty awesome in fact.  Is that arrogant, self centered, or proud?  Probably.  I don't care.  I would take "liking me" over "self loathing any day."

Long story short... try to find the happy middle between being a clown and loving a crowd.  You are going to offend some people along the way, and you are going to have some good times.  I can't bring myself to tell you to try to be a wallflower.  Some lights are meant to shine.  I hope you figure out when they should sooner than I have.  It will suit you well.

Here we go again...

It's been a long time since I fired up the old blog.  You have grown!  You are now a little dude.

It's been about two years since I have posted to this blog and man, have things changed!  You are now brother!  This little girl has infected every part of our life and made things better, cooler, and way more hectic than things were in the past. 

So at this point I would love to announce that the blog name is lessonsformykids, by that is taken so you are going to have to deal with it.  At the same time, I can no longer post this just to my little dude, Cruz.  Now it's going out to Cruz and Mila!  What  a trip.  Mila, sorry but you will have to check out your mom's blog to see how the first year of your life went.  Here's a synopsis, you slept, cried, pooped, stood, and crawled.

What follows is a list of lessons I want to teach you kids.  I hope this helps.

Don't Yell at People

I have worked retail.  I have worked insurance.  I am a husband.  I am a father.

You can not scare, intimidate, or persuade me through yelling.  I have mastered the art of finding a small dead space in my mind that I will hang out in while you get through your anger.  You know what I have found?  Most others have as well.  When it comes to a point that most people freak out you can earn credibility by not doing so.

When you want to freak out and yell at someone, remember a few things:
1.  They might not be able to change your situation.
2. If you piss them off, they will choose to not change your situation.
3.  If you piss them off, they might choose to make your situation worse to prove a point.
4.  The lower the income they make from you, the more likely they are to not care.

Unless you have Jerry Maquire influence on those you want a resolution from, you will be better off with kindness and understanding.  Also, if this is a person that you will have to deal with again, remember that they will remember you and if you give them a reason to, they will punish you.  Much like I punish commas for never learning the proper place to use them in a sentence.

Keepin' up with the Jorgensen's

I find myself at a wierd crossroads in my life.  I have always considered myself to be someone who is unafraid to blaze his own trail, make it on their own, and do thier own thing.  So what have I done?  I have followed three generations of my family into business and now I am working on a hobby that at least two generations have done.  So what do I want for you?  I want you to do your own thing, and I hope it is one of the previous two.

I had the room next door to your uncle Gabe when he was learning guitar.  It was a terrible experience.  I know the Stevie Ray Vaughn song "Little Wing" by heart and I never even liked it.  I heard Gabe butcher every note, chord, and rythem until it was perfect.  According to my memory that took 17 years.  Gabe is a badass guitarist.  He can play with Jimi, Clapton, Stevie Ray, and all the greats.  He can listen to a song once or twice and within a couple tries play it back at least 90% right.  Why do I mention this?  I bought a guitar.

I went to Bob's Guitars about a month ago.  I called Gabe first to see what I needed.  He said, "Wait for me. I will come up next weekend!"  Not soon enough I said.  I had gotten your mom's approval and I wanted to move while the moment was at hand.  "I can be there in 2 hours!" Gabe implored.  Not soon enough I said.  I was in front of the store and couldn't wait that long.  So Gabe told me to look for a guitar with good action, a trust rod, solid tuning pegs, and other things I didn't understand.  I ventured into the store and told them I wanted a guitar around $300.  The long haired guitar guy said, "Cool man, let's check some out."  He had been in a skateboarding accident and broken his femur, so he hobbled along with a single crutch explaining body compostion, action, trust rods, and a bunch of things I didn't understand.  Then he set up a stool, not the pooping type, and  put up about 6 guitars into stands.  "Just jam man, see what feels good.  Hear how they sound.  Find the one that's good for you, man."

I sat down and grabbed the first one and started to jam... by that I mean I played the two chords I remember from when I was 14 and Gabe tried to teach me to play.   You can't tell much about a guitar with the G7 and the D major it turns out.  So long hair skateboard guy asked if I wanted to jam on them so I could get a feel for the sound.  I said, "Yes."

He jammed.  I looked at which ones looked cool.  I talked myself out of the $700 Martin guitar I wanted because I am afraid of your mom.  I bought a $300 Takamene guitar because Gabe said Garth Brooks played one.  I like Garth.  I told Ash I would spend about $300.  It looked cool.  It didn't sound "tinny" which Gabe said to make sure of.  Perfect.  I had a guitar. 

I told long hair skateboarding guy I needed a case and some picks.  He said, "For sure man."  I paid for it, and then I realized that you could sit on a guitar case and thought that maybe I should have gotten a stand instead.  I asked if I could exchange them.  Long haired skateboarding guy said "For sure, man."  He grabbed a stand, told me it was cheaper than the case, and said "Here you go, man".   I asked if we needed to do paperwork... and this was the moment that I knew I had just bought a guitar in a guitar shop.  He said with a chuckle, "It's close enough for Rock and Roll, right?"

Yes.  It is close enough for Rock and Roll.  I own a guitar.  I am now a musician.  I now will be able to blow your mind with music.  Except it isn't that easy.  We will get into that later, but for right now it's close enough for Rock and Roll, man.